“Natasha, there’s a car coming!”
“Put your thumb out” I yell, as I run up the hill while pulling my pants up.
Natalia, my Spaniard friend, is facing away from the road, casually applying on deodorant.
“Natalia- put your fucking thumb out!” I yell, gasping for air as I make it up to the top of the hill. My pants are almost at my waist as I lunge myself to the side of the road and stick my thumb out. The car stops. The window rolls down.
“Where are you guys heading?” the woman in the passenger seat asks.
“Dorio?” It’s on the way to Lecco” I say panting as I bend down to see the driver. He has aviator sunglasses on and a tight navy blue t-shirt.
They look at each other, mumble a couple incoherent words.
“Okay, we’ll take you”
“Oh great, thanks”. I turn to Natalia, “Natalia, come on, get in the car”
“But I didn’t get to go pee”
My sympathy has dwindled and I stare at her as I feel the uncaptured pee drizzling down my leg.
“Just get in the car.”
Natalia and I are sit in the backseat of their Jeep. The woman in the passenger seat has luscious brown hair that flows like a stream down her back. She was holding her phone in one hand and with her other hand, her fingers are gently draped over the hand of the driver. Every few moments, she would take her index fingers and sensually caress the top of his hand.
“So, what are you guys doing in the middle of nowhere?” The man asks as he looks at us in the rearview mirror.
“We need to get to Dorio, that’s where we’re staying”
“So, then how did you end up all the way at the top of the lake?”
“Honestly, I have no idea how we ended up here. I just know it took us three trains, one boat and it’s been a 12 hours trip to get here”.
It’s true, five minutes before getting into their jeep, a boat had dropped us off on a large rock, in the middle of nowhere. Our boat ride was four hours long, which made me see how great boats are until you realize you’re on a fucking boat. The captain had said it was the closest point to Dorio that they could take us to. As I turned around and walked away from the boat, I realized they dropped us off in the middle of the woods, where 2 kilometers of winding road separated us and our hotel. See, these are the problems you get when you buy a groupon.
“And what are you guys doing at Lake Como? Do you live here?” I ask the couple.
“No, we’re actually from Israel. We’re on our honeymoon,” the woman says ecstatically while turning her to her husband, smiling.
“Oh shit! Congratulations,” I say enthusiastically.
“Oh, thank you”
“We didn’t even get you a gift,” I say in a humbling tone while staring outside the window.
The woman turns her head around and looks at me, smiling.
She takes out her guns and shoots us in the face.
I’m joking. Then they drop us off at our hotel, only it’s the wrong one so we have to walk another kilometer to reach it.
thelonelyserb 