Today, I bought a Gyros.
In which the juices from that delightful Gyros leaked all over my legs. I thought it was raining, which was dumb because I thought it was strange how the front of my legs were getting wet.
Ah, but then I looked down. The juice glistened off my black leggings. I poked one of the juice stains with my finger, and held it up to my face. A mix of tzatziki and meat juice. Which for those who are unaware of what it looks like — it looks like seamen.
I managed to wipe the seamen-look-a-like tzatziki and meat juice off — camouflaging it to the human eye. But dogs are blessed with noses.
I looked like a Serbian version of Cesar Milan. I had every fucking wild street dog houndin’ me down.